I broke two spring bar tools before I left the house. I was kneeling over the watch box, trying to move the Escudo Seacrest Silver Rose onto its leather strap at the last minute, and the strap won. The bracelet stayed on by default. That turned out to be the right call, though I didn’t know it yet.
I wanted every use case covered this time, and I wasn’t going to repeat the mistakes of the last cruise. The Tudor Glamour Double Date went on leather for dinner night one. The Escudo Seacrest Silver Rose, on its bracelet, was my daily driver. The Oceaneva WorldTime 6000m Automatic Grade 5 Titanium GMT took the pool, on and off the ship. The Breitling Superocean Heritage, on rubber, handled dinner night two and a walk through the boutiques. Four watches, four jobs. All four got worn, and each one did exactly what I packed it to do.
A word on the numbers, because they show up all through what follows. My first cruise was the Navigator of the Seas in 2004, to St. Maarten, St. Thomas and Nassau. Harmony is my second Royal Caribbean sailing, twenty-two years after the first, and the seventh cruise of my life across five lines. I score every watch against a 20 question, 100 point rubric, and after that much time at sea I wanted the same discipline for ships. This one has five categories of four questions each, every question scored 1 to 5. When a score appears in the story, that is the rubric talking, and the full tally waits at the end.
Ship and Hardware
Harmony of the Seas holds 5,479 guests at double occupancy and up to 6,780 with every berth filled. They share 24 high speed elevators, and the math doesn’t work. The crew, another 2,100 to 2,300 people, ride separate service lifts, and I never saw one in a guest elevator. Our cabin sat on deck 11, the pool deck on 15, dining on 5, the exit on 2 and 3. We waited on elevators so often that the stairs became the default, and Abagail, who refused the kids club from the start, was with us for every wait and every flight. That is a 3 for layout and navigation and nothing higher. The Escudo Seacrest Silver Rose, my daily driver, was on my wrist for all of it. Every hot tub was cold the first day, and one pool stayed cold the entire trip. On a two night sailing, strains like that eat a bigger share of the trip.
Condition and upkeep still got a 5 from me. The cabin took a 4. It was an interior facing balcony room at the aft, overlooking the Boardwalk, so we could see and hear the water show both nights, and the zip line ran directly overhead, with numerous guests sliding across, which was cool. The lack of sea air was the catch. With the doors open it was far too hot and humid, we barely used the balcony, and I would not book that room type again.
Design identity, whether a ship feels like somewhere or like a floating hotel, came out at a 3. The theming was compartmentalized, with each open section its own self contained area. Central Park was our favorite by far, with its living walls, hedges and artificial crickets at night. The Boardwalk tried to simulate Atlantic City, with a carousel, Johnny Rockets and Playmakers Sports Bar & Arcade.
Food and Beverage
We ate in the main dining room both nights, the Tudor on my wrist the first and the Breitling the second, and skipped specialty dining entirely. Since I never used it, that question sits at a neutral 3. Included dining landed at a 3 as well. The food was fine, just fine, nothing worth naming. The bar program holds a 4 despite lines at every bar that were unacceptably long and took real chunks out of a trip with only two nights to give. Consistency across venues and times of day also settled at a 4.
My drinks came from Playmakers twice, and they were excellent. Buffalo Trace was the house bourbon. The arcade next to the bar was a weaker story, with more than half the games out of order. The ship had no cigar room, and the selection I found was very limited. I had forgotten to bring any of my own, so that gap went unfilled.
Service and Staff
Service was the one place the ship never slipped. Attentiveness, knowledge when I asked, consistency from one department to the next: I gave a 5 on each. Whether I’d sail this line again on the crew alone? Another 5. On a ship this size that doesn’t happen by accident.
Entertainment and Casino
Credit where due: the two water slides are the best I’ve experienced on a cruise ship. Abagail, at eight, was too small for the larger slides and too big for the small splash slides, which left her stuck in between. The Oceaneva, my pool watch, covered the pool deck. Casual entertainment scored a 5, and live music is a big reason why. I counted four bands working the ship, and there was always music playing somewhere. We stopped into Dazzles for jazz, and although the room was nearly empty, the music was excellent.
The Fine Line was the only show we saw, an extreme sports and acrobatics production in the outdoor Aqua Theater. Divers drop from as high as 55 feet into the deepest pool at sea, performers cross high wires and slacklines strung over the water and the audience, and aerialists fly above the crowd. It was mesmerizing and a little perplexing. If a story was being told, I couldn’t tell you what it was. If the point was to dazzle, it worked, and production entertainment gets a 4 from me.
The casino is the biggest I’ve seen on a ship. Some of the slots were in disrepair, and no one offered me a drink the entire time I was on the floor, which holds it to a 3. Scale without hospitality is just a large room full of machines. Staying power across the sailing came out at a 4, though with one show seen in two nights I can only guess how it would wear over a week.
Itinerary and Ports
The island was gorgeous. Clean, with beaches that were the best part of the trip by a wide margin. The food there was cruise average, the entertainment fine, and the pool slightly in disrepair, but none of that touches the sand and water. Time in port and the private island experience both scored a 5.
The itinerary is another matter, and it is where the points went. One port can’t justify a sailing, so destinations got a 1, and flow got a 2. I told my mother that a cruise needs a day at sea, a day to orient yourself and find the time to get to all the shows, and we had no such day. Two nights, one port, and exactly one show seen. I wouldn’t do this itinerary again.
Regalia, Night One
Night one I wore the Tudor Glamour Double Date to dinner and then into Regalia, the watch store on the Royal Promenade. Two gentlemen worked it, both knowledgeable, and both complimented the Tudor. The conversation started at Frédérique Constant, with the Highlife Worldtimer Manufacture FC-718C4NH6 at about $5,000. I don’t have a Frédérique Constant in the collection yet, so we talked it through properly.
Then we moved to the case with the Breitling and Franck Muller. He told me he doesn’t usually bother showing the Starboard or the 007 Omega to most people, but he could tell from our conversation that I knew something about watches. I tried on two Franck Mullers. The Starboard x Royal Caribbean, 25 of 25 and $14,000, fit perfectly, but it was far more subdued than its exclusivity suggested. The green Vanguard at $11,000, a limited edition of 100 whose number I never saw, was simply more striking. Rarity lost to color. I shook his hand before I left. I wish I could have made a purchase, but we had a good conversation, and that counts for something.
The Boutiques, Night Two
Night two the Breitling Superocean Heritage came out for dinner, and afterward we walked through the Breitling, Cartier, Omega and Hublot boutiques in Central Park, the part of the ship we liked best. It was a different experience from Regalia. The gentleman who helped me wore an Apple Watch. He showed me the Hublot Big Bang Spirit of Big Bang Titanium Diamonds 39mm at 30% off, and I didn’t bother trying it on because of him. The same Breitling Superocean Heritage I was wearing sat in his own case. I pointed to it, showed him my wrist, and got nothing back. Then there was the Cartier Roadster, brand new this year. He had never heard of it. He seemed more salesman than watch person, and after Regalia, the difference showed.
Abagail
I don’t want to harp on the negatives, because this cruise was for her. Cruise lines call themselves family friendly, but if the kids don’t use the programs built for them, much of that is wasted. Abagail never gave the kids club a chance, so every second of the day was spent with us, which we expected.
Context matters here. Jansen and Vaughan were 16 on their first cruise. I was 25. Chrissy was 40. At 8, Abagail is far ahead of the curve. What she added to the trip and what she cost in energy were both real.
Abagail doesn’t use a rubric and she can’t wait to go again, which says more about the trip than any of my numbers do. The Margaritaville Beachcomber in April is seven nights on a decidedly more adult ship, so she will sit that one out and wait until she’s older, but I’m sure it won’t be very long.
Affiliate disclosure: I’m a proud Oceaneva affiliate. Use code BEZELS at oceaneva.com/bezels for 10% off your order. I earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. The affiliation followed the collection, not the other way around.